Guest Contributor, Sister Pretty One

Why oh why

must tuesday come

or any weekday

for that matter?

how the little children

and the grown-ups

wish for saturday...

why does tuesday

happen at all?

staff meeting and

boss is here.

probably getting yelled at.

no money no money no money

your fault your fault your fault

let's not reinvent

the wheel here.

we're bleeding and the water

is coming into the boat.

i say, death to the metaphors!

but alas, it is tuesday.

metaphors never cease.

Guest Contributor, Sister Smart One

A bad Wednesday limerick?
This day marking the halfway point of the week should be fun.
With a name like "hump day" I should easily get my work done.
Instead I can't think, I can't see.
How can one person have this much pee???
In the midst of a lesson to the john I must run!

Guest Contributor, Sister Smart One

Have you heard my theory about Tuesdays?

I bet you haven't. Here goes:

Tuesdays are the superfluous day of the week. Every other day has a purpose except Tuesdays. It goes without saying that Saturdays and Sundays are worth keeping. We need more weekends, not less! Monday is the first day of the week. It doesn't matter if we get rid of Mondays because they're yucky. A different day will still have to be the first day of the week. Wednesdays are the halfway point of the week- hump day, if you will. How can we get rid of a day that goes by the name "hump day?" Fridays are the last day of the week. We can't get rid of Fridays. What would happen to the phrase T.G.I. F.? What would happen to the restaurant???? Thursdays are worth keeping just because they are in close proximity to Friday. They are saved by their close association with the weekend.

Leaving us with Tuesdays. They have no point.

My vote is to make Tuesday a second Saturday.

Bad Tuesday Haiku, Very Gross Dog

You may not believe it

You may think I’m nuts

But last night

We discovered the reason

For days of doggie diarrhea

Last night I was awakened

But loud coughing and gagging

I feared vomit in my bed

But no

Just after midnight

The very, very wee hours

Of Bad Tuesday

Bad, bad Tuesday

My dog coughed up

An entire sneaker insole

And not a brand either of us wear

Oh bad Tuesday

Bad, bad Tuesday

Bad Tuesday Haiku, Fausnaucht Day

death, taxes, bad Tuesdays

these are the inevitables

make sadness in your heart

bringing no delight

even fausnauchts cannot rescue

fatty goodness

offers no respite

from the sorrow

bad tuesdays

Bad Tuesday Haiku, New Dog (with no night vision)

Today is such a day of joy

Spent my first night

With new baby doggie

Sleeping in her bed

Beside our bed

Hilarious

Bumping her head every 10 seconds

For the first 5 minutes

Unsure of what goes where

“This room is so dark, mommy!”

But the bad part of Tuesday

Cannot be ignored

Leaving her alone for the first time

So sad, so sad, so sad

Wanting to come along

Doesn’t understand why I’m leaving

Why couldn’t I have left first

So Matt had to handle

These feelings of abandonment?